She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
