nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
