If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
