we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
