I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
