I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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