oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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