you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
