I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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