Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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