if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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