Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
