i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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