Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Boobs are out for the taking
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
