she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
