It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
