I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
