It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
