You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I need a beard to bite.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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