oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I didn't notice because vodka
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
