haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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