forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
