My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
