I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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