If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
