party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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