You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
