I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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