Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
