spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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