I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
