oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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