i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
