i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
