i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
