She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
