No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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