Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
