Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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