the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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