I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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