Buhtt sex?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
