I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
