I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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