he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
