He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
