YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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