Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My penis needs a shock collar
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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