The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
