So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
