At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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