Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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