I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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