Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
