I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
