After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Bring me that man meat
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
