Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You dont lie about slip and slides
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
